I am feeling so unsettled. I don’t know whats up and whats down. Fear has gripped me and I hate it. I never thought I would be like this. I miss Michael so much. I really could use one of his hugs and his words to help. Sometimes I wonder how to get through this life. It is hard to even make it through the day for me anymore. Tears are one level away always. Trying not to let them out because I don’t want that look.