well 5 years have come and gone. I still cannot cry. It is like they are stuck inside. I seriously do not know how I am holding on. I have noticed I am more afraid of closeness lately. I will only let people get so close. This hurts cause I have some incredible friends. I don’t want to feel like this. I guess it’s a protection for me. I am still trying to find my way through all the world is going through….alone.